Les Buffet – A Musical Stupidity

Cast of Characters:

Principle Characters:

• Jean Valjean – A restaurant worker wrongfully accused of eating the restaurant out of business.
• Javert – Health Inspector
• Fantine – worked for Valjean until manager discovered she was hoarding food for young Cosette. 
• Cosette
• Madame Thenardier
• Thenardier
• Eponine
• Marius
• Enjolras – Begins the Fast Food Rebellion

Plot Synopsis

The Liberetto

1814, Crouton

            Jean Valjean is released from the fat farm, where he has just served 19 long, painful years where he was force-fed salad with fat-free dressing and then taken to the fields to throw up.  Upon his release, Valjean finds work at a nearby restaurant, but when the owner sees Valjean’s yellow ticket of gluttony, he fires him.  Valjean is unable to find work because everyone fears his appetite.  Eventually a soup kitchen manager takes him in, and gives him a place to stay.  Once the manager sleeps, Valjean begins to eat the pizza that was ordered.  He is caught by the enforcers but the owner vouches for him and offers him some fried chicken too, so long as he uses his newfound weight for the works of good. 

1823, Los Banõs.  Outside the buffet of the Mayor, Monsieur de Lardo (Valjean in Disguise)

            Valjean (in disguise as Monsieur de Lardo) now owns a buffet, where the townspeople congregate often.  A raucous is caused between one woman, Fantine, and another.  Valjean leaves the matter to the manager and leaves the scene.  The other woman accuses Fantine of hoarding food in large pockets in her coat.  Fantine pleads for mercy because she is sending the food to her daughter.  The manager tells her that there is no to-go in this buffet and sends her on her way without even a doggy bag.  She is forced to work in a hot-dog stand on the street.  One day a well-to-do man orders a disgusting combination, and she refuses to make it.  He calls the Health Inspector, and the woman is arrested.  Valjean intervenes and sends Fantine to the hospital to receive IV treatment because of weight loss.  Suddenly, a cry for help is heard.  It is a man trapped under a giant burrito.  Everyone rushes, but no one can lift the burrito.  Valjean immediately rushes forward and eats the entire burrito.  The man is incredibly thankful, and the crowd leaves.  Javert tells Valjean that he has only seen such appetite in one other man from the fat farm, who escaped his parole.  He has searched long and far for this man, and has found him.  He stands trial today, so Monsieur Mayor could not be this man.  Valjean knows inside that this man can’t stand trial for something he didn’t do, so he turns himself in.  He quickly runs to the hospital, where Fantine is dying.  Valjean promises to take care of Cosette, and provide plenty of food.  Javert shows up in the hospital to take Valjean back to the fat farm, but Valjean escapes.

            Meanwhile, in an inn, young Cosette wishes for ultimate dessert, she would much rather trade her current situation for Death by Chocolate.